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  • Manuela

๐—บ๐˜† ๐—ก๐—ฒ๐˜„ ๐—ฌ๐—ฒ๐—ฎ๐—ฟ'๐˜€ ๐—ฝ๐—น๐—ฎ๐—ป๐˜€ ๐˜„๐—ฒ๐—ป๐˜ ๐—ฑ๐—ผ๐˜„๐—ป ๐˜๐—ต๐—ฒ ๐—ฑ๐—ฟ๐—ฎ๐—ถ๐—ป ๐—ฎ๐—ป๐—ฑ ๐—œ ๐—ฎ๐—บ ๐—ด๐—น๐—ฎ๐—ฑ

January was supposed to be a great month. . Full-on rest and dedication to my business . Time home connecting with friends, relaxing and seeing some places. . I had it down to a T. All beautifully planned. . And not one thing went as I planned. . .

Growing up, I experienced a rocky relationship with my family . We didn't know how to communicate. And when we did, we often end up yelling at each other. There was little understanding mainly because of a lack of tools. . And I often run away. . For years I felt disconnected from them, not accepted and I shared very little with them. . . Moving away gave me perspective and allowed me to see those patterns of inadequacy, resentment, and defensiveness that we were repeating with each interaction. . . When I came back from my 6 yrs travels, my new way of seeing and living life shook the family. They did not understand how and why I am different. . I have been told I talk differently. I have been told I am not the same. I have been told they don't understand me. . At the moment it hurt, but I had done enough work to understand where those comments were coming from. . And the relationship has been slowly changing, even if there were some awkward moments. . . Despite the differences we can have, one of the biggest fears is that living away I can't be there if they need, or if they are sick. . And here January comes, giving me another opportunity to work on family patterns. . While I was at home mum suddenly went to the hospital. And we didn't know what to do. . I felt fear. I felt annoyed. I felt frustrated. . Why now? Why don't they take better care of themselves? why this, why that? A useless 10 minutes of my time was spent complaining about the events and situations. . Then I stepped up. Then I shifted. I moved to embrace the chaos. I moved to gratitude. . I was there. When they needed the most. . In the chaos, I was there to bring uplifting energy. To shift stagnation. I made my trip longer, to navigate chaos with them. . We could have stayed in fear, sadness. We could worry, unsure what was happening and why she was kept there for that long. . Instead, dad and I moved into action and fun. . We tackled projects to tidy, organize and clear around the house to support when mum was back at home. . We covered mum at work. . We divided tasks and cooked countless ravioli. . We went out to have coffee and pastry. I honestly don't remember the last time I went out for coffee alone with dad . I jumped in his bed to watch tv and tell him that I was worried. He listened and just sat there with me. Something never heard of. . We also had an animated discussion or two, on why I do things the way I do, often going against the "common sense" or the "status quo". Ending them with a beer, or a glass of Mirto. . We called mum (we couldn't visit because of hospital rules) to update her and reassure her that we had enough food. . We drove 35 minutes to buy something ending empty-handed but celebrating with an aperitivo, another first. . . January was meant to be about business, productivity, road trips and myself. . January ended up being about family, going nowhere, supporting each other and bonding. . Terms that 10 yrs ago I would have not associated with my hometown. . . People often are scared of challenges and crises, forgetting that they can be times of tremendous growth and opportunities. . To me, January was the result of all the little changes in the family dynamics that happened in the past few years.

. And it doesn't have in the big, majestic things. . Sometimes change shows in the smallest things, sometimes you see it in the picture of a coffee . . (๐‘š๐‘ข๐‘š ๐‘–๐‘  ๐‘ค๐‘’๐‘™๐‘™, ๐‘ โ„Ž๐‘’ ๐‘๐‘Ž๐‘š๐‘’ ๐‘๐‘Ž๐‘๐‘˜ โ„Ž๐‘œ๐‘š๐‘’ ๐‘Ž๐‘›๐‘‘ ๐‘Ž๐‘™๐‘š๐‘œ๐‘ ๐‘ก ๐‘“๐‘ข๐‘™๐‘™๐‘ฆ ๐‘Ÿ๐‘’๐‘๐‘œ๐‘ฃ๐‘’๐‘Ÿ๐‘’๐‘‘. ๐‘†โ„Ž๐‘’ โ„Ž๐‘Ž๐‘‘ ๐‘๐‘™๐‘’๐‘›๐‘ก๐‘ฆ ๐‘œ๐‘“ ๐‘’๐‘›๐‘’๐‘Ÿ๐‘”๐‘ฆ ๐‘ก๐‘œ ๐‘ ๐‘’๐‘›๐‘‘ ๐‘š๐‘’ ๐‘๐‘Ž๐‘๐‘˜ โ„Ž๐‘œ๐‘š๐‘’, ๐‘ ๐‘œ ๐‘กโ„Ž๐‘’๐‘ฆ ๐‘๐‘œ๐‘ข๐‘™๐‘‘ ๐‘”๐‘’๐‘ก ๐‘๐‘Ž๐‘๐‘˜ ๐‘ก๐‘œ ๐‘กโ„Ž๐‘’๐‘–๐‘Ÿ ๐‘Ÿ๐‘œ๐‘ข๐‘ก๐‘–๐‘›๐‘’๐Ÿ˜Ž )




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