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  • Writer's picturemanuela iddas

The importance of early bonding between mum and baby

Every time a baby is born, a mother is born as well.

Motherhood, one of the most challenging jobs to date, and one that doesnt come with a manual or a guide on how to navigate it, especially if it's the first time.

Despite being in the 21st century, there is still an incredible amount of pressure put on the shoulders on new-moms.

Lots of thoughts go into preparing everything for when the little one arrives, all the practicalities, keep up with health, finishing with the job before the pregancny break.

Not enough thoughts go into celebrating the process of Transformation of the Woman into Mother. There is this belief that "it will just happen, you will know when you become a mother".

Unfortunately this is not often the case.

In the safety of my practice, I often hear mothers and mothers-to-be confess that "they don't feel a connection with the baby", they "are scared to lose their identity", they are "not feeling excited for the pregnancy", or that they don't feel the maternal bond.

Maternal bond. What is that? How does it feel? And why do we expect it to be the same for everyone?

We have a specific moment of when the conception took place, but we can't put a date on when the bond will start because it's highly personal.

And there are too many variables in place.

But the strenght of the bond is an important factor for many reasons. It can improve, amongst others:

  • the general wellbeing of the mother,

  • and of the baby,

  • can reduce the risks of post-natal depression,

  • can support an easier and smoother transition in the first weeks (not only) post birht,

  • can facilitate breastfeeding time

  • improved emotional development of the baby

There are lots of activities that can be done to nurture this bond, like reading the baby a book, start journalling the process and the emotions, listen to happy tunes and generally fun and relaxing activities that improve oxytocin.

But all these activities have little effect if done without intention, mindlessly, just as a to-do list.

And here is the trick, mathernal bond is not something that you can do, it's something that you cultivate and nurture from inside. And after that, it manifests in the outside world.

The bond with the baby is the strongest in the space the mother makes to be Present with herself and the Baby. Where she can stop for a moment and just fully be there with the energy of the little one.

Because this is what it comes down to. The mother needs to get in touch with the new system present in herself. It's a big change, it's a big shift and requires moments of attention.

Too often we see moms very busy with their usual life until the delivery date, trying to fight the morning sickness or the body pains of the pregnancy because they are in the way of their routine, worrying about being what society wants the to be while internally fighting their doubts, fears, and not having enough emotional support becuase "you will be fine, every new mom goes through that". Maybe it's true, but why it's not talked about?

And this is another area where society fails moms, often completely disregarding or undervaluing the enourmous process of inner growth that a woman goea through from the moment she realizes she is pregnant, even way before the baby is born.

The classes I offer are specifically created as response to mothers's need to

- explore different ways to create, and nurture the bond with the baby during the gestation

- understanding and explore their process into motherhood

- feeling safe and supported sharing all their thoughts and doubts, form the happiest to the saddest one

- learn ways to communicate with the baby learning to tune in and read their energy (from when they are in the bond up until to when they can talk)

- learning tools to handle and guide baby's emotional turmoil (how to help them when they cry, understanding why they cry in certain situations and how to prevent it, support it, or calm it down)

- have a better understanding in the emotional/perceptional process of babies (how do they perceive life, how is it for them to interact to life in the first few weeks, or months).

Babies are highly sensitive creature, tuned in into the energies surrounding them. And that's exactly where a strong bond is build, in learning how to interact energetically with them, how to direct your emotions and energy to send them signals in a language they can understand, how to create safety and comfort for them simply tuning in into your own sensations and holding them.

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