๐๐ ๐๐ซ๐จ๐ฏ๐๐ง ๐ญ๐ก๐ข๐ง๐ ๐ฌ ๐ญ๐จ ๐๐จ๐๐ฎ๐ฌ ๐ญ๐จ ๐ฌ๐ญ๐จ๐ฉ ๐ญ๐ก๐ ๐ฉ๐๐จ๐ฉ๐ฅ๐ ๐ฉ๐ฅ๐๐๐ฌ๐ข๐งg
Updated: Jan 2, 2022
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You are still thinking about the reaction of your friend when you didn't want to go to the party the other day. โฃ
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Was she offended? โฃ
Will she invite you again?โฃ
Should you call her back and tell her that you changed your mind and go there to make her happy. She looked disappointed when you said no. โฃ
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And your partner? How can you bring up that their behaviours did hurt you, even if you brushed it off?โฃ
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If you say something it will make them feel bad, but at the same time, you feel uncomfortable with them. You are tucked between not wanting them to feel bad and feeling bad for yourself. โฃ
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You don't have time to think about it right now. โฃ
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Because you promised someone to help them with their move. They asked you, so they must trust you!โฃ
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๐ฐ๐ ๐ ๐๐๐๐'๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ , ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ . ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐'๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐, ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐? โฃ
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That you are not a good friend.โฃ
That you are unreliable โฃ
That you don't careโฃ
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There is a not-so-fine line between genuinely caring for others and the need to please them. โฃ
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People-pleasing is a coping mechanism that activates when you NEED to be liked and accepted. โฃ
You do it when you put others' needs before yours because your happiness is based on their approval. โฃ
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๐๐ ๐ญ๐ก๐๐ฒ ๐๐จ๐ง'๐ญ ๐ฅ๐ข๐ค๐ ๐ฒ๐จ๐ฎ, ๐ฒ๐จ๐ฎ๐ซ ๐ฅ๐ข๐๐ ๐ฌ๐ฎ๐๐ค๐ฌ. โฃ
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But you know that it sucks despite their approval. โฃ
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Because every day you feel resentment. โฃ
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"Why don't they take care of you as much as you take of them? "โฃ
"Why don't they show more gratitude for all your effort? "โฃ
"Are they taking advantage of your being nice?" โฃ
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๐๐ ๐ฒ๐จ๐ฎ ๐ก๐๐ ๐๐ง๐จ๐ฎ๐ ๐ก ๐จ๐ ๐ญ๐ก๐ข๐ฌ, ๐ก๐๐ซ๐ ๐๐ ๐ฉ๐ซ๐จ๐ฏ๐๐ง ๐ญ๐ก๐ข๐ง๐ ๐ฌ ๐ญ๐จ ๐๐จ๐๐ฎ๐ฌ ๐จ๐ง ๐ญ๐จ ๐ฌ๐ญ๐จ๐ฉ ๐ฉ๐๐จ๐ฉ๐ฅ๐-๐ฉ๐ฅ๐๐๐ฌ๐ข๐ง๐ โฃ
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โจbecome aware of when you are people-pleasing and ask yourself "do I really want to do this?"โฃ
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โจwork on your self-love and self-worthโฃ
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โจspend time finding out about yourself, your needs and your desiresโฃ
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โจlearn a new way to communicate and practice in a safe environmentโฃ
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โจdecide your boundaries, see them as an act of self-loveโฃ
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โจrealize that your voice is an important part of yourselfโฃ
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โจpractice saying no with convictionโฃ
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โจsit and explore your discomfortโฃ
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โจget down from your pedestal: the world will continue moving on even if you don't help everyone for a day, it's not all about youโฃ
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โจstart small and celebrate any successโฃ
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โจseek support โฃ
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๐๐ซ๐ข๐ง๐ ๐ข๐ง๐ ๐ฆ๐จ๐ซ๐ ๐ก๐จ๐ง๐๐ฌ๐ญ๐ฒ ๐ข๐ง ๐ญ๐ก๐ ๐ซ๐๐ฅ๐๐ญ๐ข๐จ๐ง๐ฌ๐ก๐ข๐ฉ ๐ฐ๐ข๐ญ๐ก ๐ฒ๐จ๐ฎ๐ซ๐ฌ๐๐ฅ๐, ๐ฒ๐จ๐ฎ ๐ฐ๐ข๐ฅ๐ฅ ๐๐ฅ๐ฌ๐จ ๐๐ง๐ ๐ฎ๐ฉ ๐ข๐ฆ๐ฉ๐ซ๐จ๐ฏ๐ข๐ง๐ ๐ญ๐ก๐ ๐ซ๐๐ฅ๐๐ญ๐ข๐จ๐ง๐ฌ๐ก๐ข๐ฉ ๐ฐ๐ข๐ญ๐ก ๐จ๐ญ๐ก๐๐ซ๐ฌ. โฃ
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๐๐ง๐ ๐ญ๐ก๐๐ญ ๐ก๐๐ฌ ๐๐ฅ๐ฐ๐๐ฒ๐ฌ ๐๐๐๐ง ๐ฒ๐จ๐ฎ๐ซ ๐ ๐จ๐๐ฅ, ๐ข๐ฌ๐ง'๐ญ ๐ข๐ญ?
