“Oh, you are such a lovely girl. “
“You are always available to help everyone else, you are always there for others. “
“Your family and friends must be lucky to have you”
“You are always so easygoing and you are a great listener”
These sentences are familiar, isn’t it?
Because you are always there for others.
You run if a friend is in need and if you can, you will do everything in your power to help them.
You always place others’ needs in front of yours because you love them, and you don’t want them to be unhappy.
You don’t want to create a nuisance or tension disagreeing or making a scene.
Everyone knows you are a great person, selfless and helpful.
And it’s nice. Makes you feel better. Makes you feel safe.
Because they don’t know how angry you are inside.
They don’t know you are super pissed with their sometimes impossible and dumb requests, and when you try to tell them, they don’t understand it.
Making you even more angry and annoyed.
You see that you are the one reaching out more often, to change your agenda to accommodate others, but what about when you ask for help?
Supposing that you do it. In the past, it was just disappointment. You have learned to just do it by yourself because it’s easier and less troublesome.
𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐛𝐚𝐛𝐥𝐲 𝐭𝐞𝐥𝐥 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐢𝐭’𝐬 𝐨𝐤𝐚𝐲, 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐛𝐮𝐬𝐲, 𝐢𝐭 𝐝𝐨𝐞𝐬𝐧’𝐭 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲 𝐦𝐚𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐫.
It became your mantra, but inside you feel the tension building up and you are aware that you are going to explode one day or the other.
The resentment. The Duck Off everyone. Why it is never your turn?
𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐝𝐨𝐧’𝐭 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐭𝐨 𝐝𝐞𝐚𝐥 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬, 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐣𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐫𝐞𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐬 𝐢𝐭.
Until your body starts showing you signs of being unwell. Your digestion sucks. Your skin shows rushes. The body is in pain. The headaches that turn into migraines. You feel nauseous and sometimes you skip meals because your stomach is tightened by the nervousness.
𝐈𝐭’𝐬 𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐰𝐞𝐚𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐛𝐢𝐠-𝐠𝐢𝐫𝐥'𝐬 𝐩𝐚𝐧𝐭𝐬. 𝐄𝐧𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐭𝐭𝐲 𝐠𝐨𝐨𝐝 𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐥𝐞 𝐠𝐢𝐫𝐥.
Free yourself from other people's expectations.
Free yourself from the guilt of saying no - 𝑁𝑜 𝑖𝑠 𝑎𝑛 𝑎𝑐𝑐𝑒𝑝𝑡𝑎𝑏𝑙𝑒 𝑎𝑛𝑠𝑤𝑒𝑟 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑑𝑜𝑒𝑠𝑛'𝑡 𝑚𝑒𝑎𝑛 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑎𝑟𝑒 𝑏𝑎𝑑.
Free yourself from the shame to put yourself first - 𝐼𝑓 𝑦𝑜𝑢𝑟 𝑐𝑢𝑝 𝑖𝑠 𝑒𝑚𝑝𝑡𝑦, ℎ𝑜𝑤 𝑐𝑎𝑛 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑝𝑜𝑢𝑟 𝑖𝑡 𝑖𝑛𝑡𝑜 𝑜𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑟𝑠?
Free yourself from the need to be approved by everyone.
𝐒𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟 𝐚 𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐥𝐞 𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐞.
Learn your boundaries, respect them and learn how to express them with grace.
Learn a new way of relating with others, that comes from mutual respect and not from subordination. A depth you have never thought possible.
Learn to embrace yourself in all your shades, so that people can get to know you better, authentically and you can experience the glory of being yourself.
Because really, not many people like someone with no opinions, no interests, and always available - 𝐴𝑛𝑑 𝑖𝑓 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑦 𝑑𝑜, 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑚𝑖𝑔ℎ𝑡 𝑤𝑎𝑛𝑡 𝑡𝑜 𝑐𝑜𝑛𝑠𝑖𝑑𝑒𝑟 𝑡𝑜 𝑟𝑢𝑛.