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  • Writer's picturemanuela iddas

๐†๐จ๐จ๐ ๐ ๐ข๐ซ๐ฅ๐ฌ ๐š๐ซ๐ž ๐ง๐จ๐ญ ๐Ÿ๐ฎ๐ง

โ€œOh, you are such a lovely girl. โ€œ

โ€œYou are always available to help everyone else, you are always there for others. โ€œ

โ€œYour family and friends must be lucky to have youโ€

โ€œYou are always so easygoing and you are a great listenerโ€

These sentences are familiar, isnโ€™t it?

Because you are always there for others.

You run if a friend is in need and if you can, you will do everything in your power to help them.

You always place othersโ€™ needs in front of yours because you love them, and you donโ€™t want them to be unhappy.

You donโ€™t want to create a nuisance or tension disagreeing or making a scene.

Everyone knows you are a great person, selfless and helpful.

And itโ€™s nice. Makes you feel better. Makes you feel safe.

Yes, safe.

Because they donโ€™t know how angry you are inside.

They donโ€™t know you are super pissed with their sometimes impossible and dumb requests, and when you try to tell them, they donโ€™t understand it.

Making you even more angry and annoyed.

You see that you are the one reaching out more often, to change your agenda to accommodate others, but what about when you ask for help?

Supposing that you do it. In the past, it was just disappointment. You have learned to just do it by yourself because itโ€™s easier and less troublesome.

๐˜๐จ๐ฎ ๐ฉ๐ซ๐จ๐›๐š๐›๐ฅ๐ฒ ๐ญ๐ž๐ฅ๐ฅ ๐ฒ๐จ๐ฎ๐ซ๐ฌ๐ž๐ฅ๐Ÿ ๐ญ๐ก๐š๐ญ ๐ข๐ญโ€™๐ฌ ๐จ๐ค๐š๐ฒ, ๐ญ๐ก๐ž๐ฒ ๐š๐ซ๐ž ๐›๐ฎ๐ฌ๐ฒ, ๐ข๐ญ ๐๐จ๐ž๐ฌ๐งโ€™๐ญ ๐ซ๐ž๐š๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ฒ ๐ฆ๐š๐ญ๐ญ๐ž๐ซ.

It became your mantra, but inside you feel the tension building up and you are aware that you are going to explode one day or the other.

The resentment. The Duck Off everyone. Why it is never your turn?

๐˜๐จ๐ฎ ๐๐จ๐งโ€™๐ญ ๐ค๐ง๐จ๐ฐ ๐ก๐จ๐ฐ ๐ญ๐จ ๐๐ž๐š๐ฅ ๐ฐ๐ข๐ญ๐ก ๐ญ๐ก๐ข๐ฌ, ๐ฒ๐จ๐ฎ ๐ฃ๐ฎ๐ฌ๐ญ ๐ซ๐ž๐ฉ๐ซ๐ž๐ฌ๐ฌ ๐ข๐ญ.

Until your body starts showing you signs of being unwell. Your digestion sucks. Your skin shows rushes. The body is in pain. The headaches that turn into migraines. You feel nauseous and sometimes you skip meals because your stomach is tightened by the nervousness.

๐ˆ๐ญโ€™๐ฌ ๐ญ๐ข๐ฆ๐ž ๐ญ๐จ ๐ฐ๐ž๐š๐ซ ๐ญ๐ก๐ž ๐›๐ข๐ -๐ ๐ข๐ซ๐ฅ'๐ฌ ๐ฉ๐š๐ง๐ญ๐ฌ. ๐„๐ง๐จ๐ฎ๐ ๐ก ๐จ๐Ÿ ๐ญ๐ก๐ž ๐ฉ๐ซ๐ž๐ญ๐ญ๐ฒ ๐ ๐จ๐จ๐ ๐ฅ๐ข๐ญ๐ญ๐ฅ๐ž ๐ ๐ข๐ซ๐ฅ.

Free yourself from other people's expectations.

Free yourself from the guilt of saying no - ๐‘๐‘œ ๐‘–๐‘  ๐‘Ž๐‘› ๐‘Ž๐‘๐‘๐‘’๐‘๐‘ก๐‘Ž๐‘๐‘™๐‘’ ๐‘Ž๐‘›๐‘ ๐‘ค๐‘’๐‘Ÿ ๐‘Ž๐‘›๐‘‘ ๐‘‘๐‘œ๐‘’๐‘ ๐‘›'๐‘ก ๐‘š๐‘’๐‘Ž๐‘› ๐‘ฆ๐‘œ๐‘ข ๐‘Ž๐‘Ÿ๐‘’ ๐‘๐‘Ž๐‘‘.

Free yourself from the shame to put yourself first - ๐ผ๐‘“ ๐‘ฆ๐‘œ๐‘ข๐‘Ÿ ๐‘๐‘ข๐‘ ๐‘–๐‘  ๐‘’๐‘š๐‘๐‘ก๐‘ฆ, โ„Ž๐‘œ๐‘ค ๐‘๐‘Ž๐‘› ๐‘ฆ๐‘œ๐‘ข ๐‘๐‘œ๐‘ข๐‘Ÿ ๐‘–๐‘ก ๐‘–๐‘›๐‘ก๐‘œ ๐‘œ๐‘กโ„Ž๐‘’๐‘Ÿ๐‘ ?

Free yourself from the need to be approved by everyone.

๐’๐ญ๐š๐ซ๐ญ ๐ฅ๐จ๐ฏ๐ข๐ง๐  ๐ฒ๐จ๐ฎ๐ซ๐ฌ๐ž๐ฅ๐Ÿ ๐š ๐ฅ๐ข๐ญ๐ญ๐ฅ๐ž ๐ฆ๐จ๐ซ๐ž.

Learn your boundaries, respect them and learn how to express them with grace.

Learn a new way of relating with others, that comes from mutual respect and not from subordination. A depth you have never thought possible.

Learn to embrace yourself in all your shades, so that people can get to know you better, authentically and you can experience the glory of being yourself.

Because really, not many people like someone with no opinions, no interests, and always available - ๐ด๐‘›๐‘‘ ๐‘–๐‘“ ๐‘กโ„Ž๐‘’๐‘ฆ ๐‘‘๐‘œ, ๐‘ฆ๐‘œ๐‘ข ๐‘š๐‘–๐‘”โ„Ž๐‘ก ๐‘ค๐‘Ž๐‘›๐‘ก ๐‘ก๐‘œ ๐‘๐‘œ๐‘›๐‘ ๐‘–๐‘‘๐‘’๐‘Ÿ ๐‘ก๐‘œ ๐‘Ÿ๐‘ข๐‘›.

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